


Eggs Benedict

by Amedia



Category: Barney Miller (TV)
Genre: Canon Character of Color, Cooking, Established Relationship, Fluff, Humor, M/M, Prompt Fic, Shooting Range
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-16
Updated: 2013-11-16
Packaged: 2018-01-01 18:54:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 699
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1047395
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Amedia/pseuds/Amedia
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dietrich knows how to make Eggs Benedict. Harris is impressed.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Eggs Benedict

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt response ficlets. keikokin requested Barney Miller with the prompt:
> 
> "You know how to make Eggs Benedict? I'm impressed."  
>  "Not as impressed as I was last night."

> 
> I wrote two ficlets, in response. The first one is definitely slash. As for the second one, well, you can decide for yourself. ;-)
> 
> Originally posted on LiveJournal on April 28, 2006.

[1]  
Things were never certain with Arthur.

Which was why Harris was relieved to find, when he woke up alone, that Arthur's side of the bed was still warm. It was unlikely that he had gone far. Harris listened carefully, and heard a faint clattering sound from the kitchen. Either Arthur was in there, or a burglar was making breakfast. Either way, Harris was hungry. He threw on a robe and padded out of the bedroom.

A startling sight greeted his eyes as he stood at the entrance to the kitchen. Dietrich was standing stark naked in front of the stove, stirring something in a saucepan with one hand, and gently moving a frying pan back and forth with the other. The toaster was also humming. Peering closer, Harris realized that Dietrich wasn't actually naked... the neck strap and waist tie of an apron were clearly visible.

"That's the sexiest outfit I've seen you in all week," Harris said.

"Better than the plaid suit with the striped tie I wore on Wednesday?" Dietrich asked blandly without turning around.

"Please, don't spoil my breakfast," Harris said. He suspected Dietrich had dressed that day deliberately to provoke him; indeed, he had taken it as a clue that Dietrich might be interested in a little flirting... and here they were.

Dietrich chuckled, laying down his whisk and picking up a spatula. Harris moved closer to see what exactly he was working on. "Eggs... ham..."

"Canadian bacon," Dietrich corrected, flipping the item in question.

Harris looked at the saucepan. "Bearnaise--no, Hollandaise sauce." He leaned over and peered into the toaster. "English muffins--Arthur, are you making me Eggs Benedict?"

"Who said I was making them for you?" Dietrich asked with a smile.

Harris moved up right behind him, wrapping his arms around Dietrich's chest and pressing himself all along Dietrich's back. "You know how to make Eggs Benedict? I'm impressed," he whispered in Dietrich's ear."

"Not as impressed as I was last night," Dietrich answered, turning his head and kissing Harris. "Is that a baguette in your pocket or are you happy to see me?"

No, things were never certain... but they could be very tasty.

 

[2]  
The only arrest that morning had been a gourmet cook who flung a pan of hot grease at his boss. After typing up the mostly-unharmed boss's complaint, Harris secretly sympathized with the cook.The subject of cooking lingered on while the suspect was downstairs for pictures and prints. Yemana asked if anyone wanted copies of his grandfather's soup recipes. Wojo almost accepted until Yemana mentioned that they were written entirely in Japanese.

"I think I'll stick with hamburgers," Wojo said ruefully. "I'm not much of a cook." Suddenly he cheered up. "That's what girlfriends are for."

"Oh, not necessarily," said Harris airily. "You cook, don't you, Arthur?"

If he hoped Dietrich would rise to the bait, getting defensive about his masculinity, he was disappointed. "I dabble," said Dietrich.

"In what?" Barney asked.

"Currently I'm finding egg dishes an interesting culinary challenge," Dietrich said. "Omelettes, fritattas, you name it. Eggs Benedict is especially tricky because of the sauce."

"You know how to make Eggs Benedict, Arthur?" asked Harris. "I'm impressed."

Dietrich grinned mischievously. "Not as impressed as I was last night." The others stared at them. Dietrich went on, "Not everyone scores so quickly."

Harris said quickly, "Oh, come on, Arthur. Lots of people get perfect scores on their first round at the shooting range."

"Oh," said Wojo, "you were at the _shooting range_. Su-u-u-ure." He winked broadly.

Dietrich nodded. "Uh-huh. And really, you should see the way he handles his piece. Poetry in motion, let me tell you."

Harris sputtered and finally got out two syllables. "Ar-thur!"

Barney came and stood next to his desk. "I take it that Detective Dietrich is referring to your dexterity in using your gun," he said, sounding very serious, but clearly clamping down on a smile that kept trying to escape.

"Naturally," said Harris with visible relief. He tried to glare at Dietrich, but the other detective cocked an eyebrow at him and he had to smile. _I'll get you for this_ , he swore silently. _One way or another_.


End file.
